I think I've slipped from the normal pattern of breast reconstruction into a new category called "something else." The usual fill to maximum 200 ccs of saline to make my right breast the same size as my left, has turned into filling the expander sewn into the right breast every 3-5 days with another 100 ccs. Like a balloon, it blows up before our very eyes. Two days later, the surgical side of the breast is deflated again. The good news is all this hassle is expanding the skin bit by bit, enough that when surgery happens on September 11 (no, the date did not escape me) there will be enough extra skin to swap the temporary saline bag with a permanent solid gel silicone one.
But I had to share the fact that a long weekend is almost upon us, so my good doctor Sandi filled the boob again after only two days since the last fill. I can definitely feel the difference once again, almost too heavy on the right side, like I can tip over. That may be a wee bit of exaggeration.
I must also commend Sandi on her success at finding the port. Now that the skin has stretched, I no longer receive a freezing for the injection site. It's a quick check with the magnet finder for the metallic port-site and then a "quick poke" and Sandi is pushing the plunger down on the syringe, which no longer vibrates from effort, but goes in smooth and quick. We're done in minutes. See you next week!
A tip for anyone going through this- a syringe usually only holds 60 cc's, so what we are now doing is filling two syringes- one with 60ccs and one with 40 ccs. Once the needle is inserted into the port, Sandi uses the first syringe but she does not remove the needle from my breast. She unscrews it from the syringe and replaces the empty syringe with the next filled one. That saves her having to find the port twice. Works great for me! I didn't have to watch that long point coming at me twice.
Have a fab labor day long weekend everyone. I think I'll take this big boob to the lake and show it off while I can. No-one ever looks at your stomach rolls when there is an anomaly around.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
The Dream Wedding
Finally one of our four children has "taken one for the team." With all this talk in my book about wanting weddings and grandkids, our oldest daughter Lindsay had the family flown by helicopter to the top of Mt. Begbie in Revelstoke, B.C. There, upon a large flat rock with a background drop of waterfalls, glaciers and mountain scenery, she said "I do" to her best friend and partner in adventure, Jeff Zeitz (rhymes with heights). They will enjoy the most scenic wedding photos imaginable, especially with their love of dramatic mountain scenery. Complete with blue sky, sunshine and a handsome heli pilot.
The maid-of honour's dress flying up around her ears was one of the favourite stories along with a few "borrowed" flowers from another wedding's floral arrangement to make two new corsages when ours froze, picking huckleberries until our tongues turned blue on the family hike the day before and the backword 'Z's on the pies all blended to make it an unforgettable occasion.The picture site will be announced for more glimpses of the bride and groom- the professional ones!
The honeymoon is in Squamish at a mountain climbing course so they will be able to climb Mt Begbie all the way on foot next time, using ropes and caribeeners. We asked that they call after the hike and not before!
We can hardly wait for the next wedding August 2nd of our other daughter Karly to her beau Matt McCrae of Victoria. Look for your Save-the-date cards in the mail very soon!
On that front, while in the hotel's hot tub this weekend, our son Lorne professed his intention of spending the rest of his life with partner Deb Austin, ring yet or not,which had us sighing with content and the hope of the next part of the picture, the grandkids, falling not too shortly behind.
What about Kelly? Kelly seems perfectly content with his own company. Can't argue with that! Literally.
I think the floating feeling is going to continue for some time.
At least until the next surgery for the replacement of the breast expander with the real silicone breast implant on September 11. Yes, on 911. I have a feeling its going to be a good day for one of us.
Thanks for checking in!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
"Limp" the Boob Along
Quick up-date for anyone new. I have been going through breast reconstruction with the use of a surgically implanted breast expander in my breast. This expander has a bag which is filled gradually over the weeks until the anticipated size is reached. It is then left inside for two months for the skin to fully stretch to the desired size. A second surgery removes the expander and a silicone replacement that resembles the constituency of a gum drop, is then sewn in and voila- a full boob.I get back what cancer took from me!
My exisitng nipple, although pointed to the far right will come a bit more left, but not enough to point in the proper direction. I figured that appropriate for someone that gets lost in a paper bag. Like a tattoo or street sign bearing my name, I now have my own individualized body part!
A recent mishap caused a tweak in "the plan." A small leak has occurred which is exacerbated by sleeping on my stomach or any pressure on my chest.
My surgeon called it "limping the boob along," meaning a rush operation will be requested, pending date September 6 but until then, we need to keep the breast with the expander inside filled to capacity as much as possible. This is instead of facing a second surgery to replace the expander and saline filled bag. We're going to try and make what we have work. Whew! Two more surgeries would have been hard to take. My right side is down for the count for 4-6 weeks. Hard to ski with one arm.
SO...I go to the Kelowna emergency on Monday morning (whatever was I thinking. What a line-up!) to eventually face a very handsome, super cheerful 13 year-old (?) doctor that said, "really?" Once I explained the technique required, he had the needle into the appropriate docking spot in one try and filled me with another 100 cc's of saline. It felt super large, jutting beneath my arm slightly. It felt wonderfully full and almost larger than my left breast. Definitely firmer, higher younger looking. Oh joy, oh JOY!
I will have to have it re-filled on Friday, the day before our daughter's wedding, to better fit my dress. Another emergency ward, another doctor who will most likely repeat the word..."really?"
Who else gets to go on a holiday having to limp their boob, instead of their spare tire, along? It is so typically me. Sigh.
My exisitng nipple, although pointed to the far right will come a bit more left, but not enough to point in the proper direction. I figured that appropriate for someone that gets lost in a paper bag. Like a tattoo or street sign bearing my name, I now have my own individualized body part!
A recent mishap caused a tweak in "the plan." A small leak has occurred which is exacerbated by sleeping on my stomach or any pressure on my chest.
My surgeon called it "limping the boob along," meaning a rush operation will be requested, pending date September 6 but until then, we need to keep the breast with the expander inside filled to capacity as much as possible. This is instead of facing a second surgery to replace the expander and saline filled bag. We're going to try and make what we have work. Whew! Two more surgeries would have been hard to take. My right side is down for the count for 4-6 weeks. Hard to ski with one arm.
SO...I go to the Kelowna emergency on Monday morning (whatever was I thinking. What a line-up!) to eventually face a very handsome, super cheerful 13 year-old (?) doctor that said, "really?" Once I explained the technique required, he had the needle into the appropriate docking spot in one try and filled me with another 100 cc's of saline. It felt super large, jutting beneath my arm slightly. It felt wonderfully full and almost larger than my left breast. Definitely firmer, higher younger looking. Oh joy, oh JOY!
I will have to have it re-filled on Friday, the day before our daughter's wedding, to better fit my dress. Another emergency ward, another doctor who will most likely repeat the word..."really?"
Who else gets to go on a holiday having to limp their boob, instead of their spare tire, along? It is so typically me. Sigh.
The Boob is Staying Afloat
What welcome news I have for a change. I am pleased as punch to announce that when my doctor returned from holidays and re-filled the flattened bag inside my cancer-operated right breast, it managed to stay afloat over the weekend. Being careful to avoid sleeping on my stomach, or diving chest first into water from up high on the two storey lake raft seemed to help and on Monday there was still roundness to the bottom half of the breast. A call to my surgeon's office said to get in and get it filled to capacity- another 100 cc's. Total 200 cc's over a week, which is maximum for the bag I was given. If it continues to seep out (being only saline right now, it is never a problem. It will keep me hydrated if nothing else.One less glass of water I have to force down!) then I can keep getting it refilled at various emergency hospital areas. It is to stay inflated for 2 months before surgery removes it and the skin will have been considered stretched enough for the permanent real (I use that term loosely) implant which will be filled with silicone.
For now, the excitement of looking down at a filled bra is such a great feeling. I never dreamed or dared hope that this moment would ever come and here it is. I feel whole again! What a perfect day (except for the argument that I'm spending too much needlessly towards the book publishing. It sucks having a husband as your accountant. One I paid for would never talk to me like that-ha. Yes, I tried to fire him but it didn't work. Actually, if it weren't for Barry, I'd be in trouble with the tax people and it's only been three months in the Biz!He makes sure the eyes are dotted and the tees are crossed. I have to account for every frigging nickle. Excrutiating!)
Nothing compares to having your body back in one piece again.
For now, the excitement of looking down at a filled bra is such a great feeling. I never dreamed or dared hope that this moment would ever come and here it is. I feel whole again! What a perfect day (except for the argument that I'm spending too much needlessly towards the book publishing. It sucks having a husband as your accountant. One I paid for would never talk to me like that-ha. Yes, I tried to fire him but it didn't work. Actually, if it weren't for Barry, I'd be in trouble with the tax people and it's only been three months in the Biz!He makes sure the eyes are dotted and the tees are crossed. I have to account for every frigging nickle. Excrutiating!)
Nothing compares to having your body back in one piece again.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Blowing Up The Boob
Ah, the boob saga sagged a bit, but it continues on once again. With Dr. V safely back and refreshed from holidays abroad, we set to the task of trying to refill the breast again with more saline. Since its collapse shortly after the last fill, it was assumed a hole had been accidentally poked in the bag that holds the saline.
When I called the surgeon's office, the receptionist replied, "I'm afraid it's more common than you think." But this stage is simply all about stretching skin. We're trying to slowly blow up the breast big enough to replace the saline bag with a permanent one- a thicker, tougher, unsinkable (my new personal life preserver!) silicone boob. I bet I will be able to bounce off of it, it sounds so impermeable.
But I digress, talking about what I can, might and will do with my new right breast once we get all this behind us.
On Wednesday this week I am before the surgeon who will decide between more surgery to replace what is in there and starting over again, or to keep topping me up if it's only a slow puncture ("Maybe it's hissing in there but we can't hear it, like a slow tire leak?" I said to Dr. V) Time will tell in the morning how deflated I get (morally and physically) Maybe I'd best sleep on my back?
Stay tuned for the next saga of "the bouncing breast..."
When I called the surgeon's office, the receptionist replied, "I'm afraid it's more common than you think." But this stage is simply all about stretching skin. We're trying to slowly blow up the breast big enough to replace the saline bag with a permanent one- a thicker, tougher, unsinkable (my new personal life preserver!) silicone boob. I bet I will be able to bounce off of it, it sounds so impermeable.
But I digress, talking about what I can, might and will do with my new right breast once we get all this behind us.
On Wednesday this week I am before the surgeon who will decide between more surgery to replace what is in there and starting over again, or to keep topping me up if it's only a slow puncture ("Maybe it's hissing in there but we can't hear it, like a slow tire leak?" I said to Dr. V) Time will tell in the morning how deflated I get (morally and physically) Maybe I'd best sleep on my back?
Stay tuned for the next saga of "the bouncing breast..."
Friday, July 26, 2013
Bad News About the Re-Con Boob
...and just like a balloon, except it didn't fly around the room, my beautifully rounded saline filled boob went flat overnight.
For those not keeping up, I am a breast cancer survivor in the process of breast reconstruction. An expander with a fillable bag was inserted into my right breast through surgery and now it is to be gradually filled week-by-week until it matches the healthy breast's dimensions. Then this is removed and a solid silicone implant replaces it and I will be finished with the surgeries.
I was in for the third re-fill last week. It was a struggle to find the metal port the needle was to be inserted into on the aerola so that Dr. V could push more saline into the soft gelled bag recently sewn into my breast. As we were slowly having to expand the breast tissue, adding another 50 cc's every three weeks, I had been watching my breast swell larger and larger as the wrinkled lines in my skin and bra disappeared. I was loving the results!
But a mishap during insertion missed the portal and the needle plunged through the bag. "It's quite common, I'm afraid," the receptionist told me.
"We'll get your usual doctor to try again with 100 ccs of saline (when she returns from holidays) and if that doesn't hold, you'll have to be booked for another surgery to replace the expander and bag. I am so sorry..."
She's sorry? I'm sorry about how sorry my doctor is going to feel That's the worst of it.Really. To me it's more time, more healing, more learning the role of patience to get the things we want in life. Like becoming an author, a mother, a mother-in-law and one day a grandmother. It's all worth the wait, as this will be I imagine.
I am wearing a thumb splint as we speak on my left hand as I managed to give myself tendonitis by over-compensating for the post-surgical right arm's soreness. And I get to go through that again. More surgery, another four weeks to repair, another ten weeks of filling before a third surgery to remove the hardware and replace it with a permanent bag filled with silicone.
And like the balloon and my boob...I have to admit for a few minutes I was deflated once again.
SO... realizing the symptoms, I gathered myself and went shopping. First to the Farmers market for fresh kale and beet tops, to the A&W for a twister soft ice cream, to Field's to buy a relaxing pair of exercise pants before a long walk to clear my head.
It's working, although I'm determined not to look down or in a mirror again for quite some time.
In the meantime, I'll have to wait another month or so to continue with the breast recon saga.
Maybe I will start blogging about another part of my body.
How about the burn on my butt from too much skin and not enough bathing suit material?
For those not keeping up, I am a breast cancer survivor in the process of breast reconstruction. An expander with a fillable bag was inserted into my right breast through surgery and now it is to be gradually filled week-by-week until it matches the healthy breast's dimensions. Then this is removed and a solid silicone implant replaces it and I will be finished with the surgeries.
I was in for the third re-fill last week. It was a struggle to find the metal port the needle was to be inserted into on the aerola so that Dr. V could push more saline into the soft gelled bag recently sewn into my breast. As we were slowly having to expand the breast tissue, adding another 50 cc's every three weeks, I had been watching my breast swell larger and larger as the wrinkled lines in my skin and bra disappeared. I was loving the results!
But a mishap during insertion missed the portal and the needle plunged through the bag. "It's quite common, I'm afraid," the receptionist told me.
"We'll get your usual doctor to try again with 100 ccs of saline (when she returns from holidays) and if that doesn't hold, you'll have to be booked for another surgery to replace the expander and bag. I am so sorry..."
She's sorry? I'm sorry about how sorry my doctor is going to feel That's the worst of it.Really. To me it's more time, more healing, more learning the role of patience to get the things we want in life. Like becoming an author, a mother, a mother-in-law and one day a grandmother. It's all worth the wait, as this will be I imagine.
I am wearing a thumb splint as we speak on my left hand as I managed to give myself tendonitis by over-compensating for the post-surgical right arm's soreness. And I get to go through that again. More surgery, another four weeks to repair, another ten weeks of filling before a third surgery to remove the hardware and replace it with a permanent bag filled with silicone.
And like the balloon and my boob...I have to admit for a few minutes I was deflated once again.
SO... realizing the symptoms, I gathered myself and went shopping. First to the Farmers market for fresh kale and beet tops, to the A&W for a twister soft ice cream, to Field's to buy a relaxing pair of exercise pants before a long walk to clear my head.
It's working, although I'm determined not to look down or in a mirror again for quite some time.
In the meantime, I'll have to wait another month or so to continue with the breast recon saga.
Maybe I will start blogging about another part of my body.
How about the burn on my butt from too much skin and not enough bathing suit material?
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Part Three of Breast Recon- Third Fill
Picture a rubber balloon that is inflated. It's nice and firm from all sides. Round and bulbous. Now picture 1/2 of that balloon all shrivelled and deflated while the other half remains full and hard. That's the before and after of a partial mastectomy surgery to remove a 9mm tumour.
As explained in parts one and two, I had been through surgery to implant a breast tissue expander that would stretch the skin slowly over various "fills" so that eventually a permanent implant could replace it and my breast will look closer to what it had before this nightmare.
With the expander in place, the instant Dr. V inserted the needle into the portal (and we heard the faint "click" when that happened) my breast began to fill out the rubbery, wrinkled skin to a nice taut balloon surface again.
Size-wise, this blue plastic contraption sits in the palm of your hand. At the far right you see the magnetic "head" that slants straight up when the metallic portal in the expander implant is directly below. Dr. V marks the spot before inserting the syringe full of saline.
There was a slight problem finding the exact portal hole this time. It required a second freezing deeper into the area and a slight joke about putting me out for the two minutes this would take to empty the syringe into my breast, but the moment passed. The right spot was found, my toes uncurled and I held the gauze to my areola until Dr. V covered it with a band-aid.
As I pulled up the sundress I had arrived in, I noticed how my breast filled the sewn-in cup much better than it had ten minutes ago. The nipple that faced my armpit had begun to swing straighter, facing NE instead of due north. The wrinkles were gone! One more fill, another 40 cc's and then we waited for it to "settle" before removing it with another surgery.
I will have to get myself measured before that happens to see if I need any more saline or if that is enough. The skin has to stretch far enough to contain and close in the new implant, a real one that will stay firm and round for as long as I live. What a sweet deal! I'm telling you, I am so wonderfully happy with the entire process I could cry.
I came out of this experience on the plus side, I would say. It only cost me a few years of my life, but hey- the girls will be looking better than ever before.
Now if they could do something about the wrinkley balloon issues elsewhere on this 50 year-old chassis!
As explained in parts one and two, I had been through surgery to implant a breast tissue expander that would stretch the skin slowly over various "fills" so that eventually a permanent implant could replace it and my breast will look closer to what it had before this nightmare.
With the expander in place, the instant Dr. V inserted the needle into the portal (and we heard the faint "click" when that happened) my breast began to fill out the rubbery, wrinkled skin to a nice taut balloon surface again.
Size-wise, this blue plastic contraption sits in the palm of your hand. At the far right you see the magnetic "head" that slants straight up when the metallic portal in the expander implant is directly below. Dr. V marks the spot before inserting the syringe full of saline.
There was a slight problem finding the exact portal hole this time. It required a second freezing deeper into the area and a slight joke about putting me out for the two minutes this would take to empty the syringe into my breast, but the moment passed. The right spot was found, my toes uncurled and I held the gauze to my areola until Dr. V covered it with a band-aid.
As I pulled up the sundress I had arrived in, I noticed how my breast filled the sewn-in cup much better than it had ten minutes ago. The nipple that faced my armpit had begun to swing straighter, facing NE instead of due north. The wrinkles were gone! One more fill, another 40 cc's and then we waited for it to "settle" before removing it with another surgery.
I will have to get myself measured before that happens to see if I need any more saline or if that is enough. The skin has to stretch far enough to contain and close in the new implant, a real one that will stay firm and round for as long as I live. What a sweet deal! I'm telling you, I am so wonderfully happy with the entire process I could cry.
I came out of this experience on the plus side, I would say. It only cost me a few years of my life, but hey- the girls will be looking better than ever before.
Now if they could do something about the wrinkley balloon issues elsewhere on this 50 year-old chassis!
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