A Christmas Surprise

I can't believe it is raining out? That's very unusual for us at this time of year. The snow is determined to cling to the grass though so there will be white for Christmas, although not nearly as much as usual. Enough to keep that Christmas feeling. Some of us don't go to Mexico during the Holidays for a reason.

We arrived in Terrace last week for the hysteroscopy. The gynecologist performing the procedure had met with me six weeks prior and we discussed the options of getting to the bottom of the continual menstrual-like cramping that has been on-going since taking the Tamoxifen. A side effect of taking Tamoxifen is uterine cancer. I kid you not!

Signs of uterine cancer are cramping , back pain and spotting. I do have the cramping and the lower back pain (from skiing the hard bumps at the ski hill possibly, or is it something else)The fear of growing more cancer was eating me up.  So to be sure, the doctor was going to go in with a camera and take pictures to assure both himself and me that all was clear.
When he asked to examine me, I politely opted out , telling him my regular doctor and girlfriend Dr. V was very thorough and had just examined me days before. He smiled at my ploy and let it go, saying there had better not be any "surprises" once I was on the operating table. I assured him there wouldn't be.

 I haven't had to flash the old wahzoo at a man other than my husband for over twenty years and was not looking forward to it. Fortunately when this doctor would get to look at it, I would be under a general anesthetic and not having to grin and bear the moment.

That's why I decided to decorate my south pole, complete with a Santa cap, white beard, red mittens on the inside thighs and plenty of Christmas stickers wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. I hear it was a hit and a good laugh for everyone.

The good news is that the pictures looked excellent, with no other surprises. Now we await results from the samples taken.

I went off the Tamoxifen the day after the procedure. The Zoladex that I take by injection every three months should be wearing off and my oncologist and other two doctors want to take me off everything to see if I am in menopause yet. After the chemotherapy and the drugs I should be by now. If I am, they can take me off the Tamoxifen and put me on something far less carcinogenic for the rest of the five folllow-up years. That would be VERY comforting. Although like with everything else I have been through, this comes as a trade-off. It means I am not protected from feeding my estrogen-receptive cells and so I am avoiding all soy products, all alcohol, as much sugar as is humanely impossible during Christmas and hoping I don't do what I've done all through my life and do harm to myself. It's easier this time because there is more than myself at stake these days. There are my children's children to live for. It's funny to love people that haven't even been conceived yet, that much, but I feel it. It's real and I need to do all that I can to make sure I'm around to welcome them all to this amazingly complex but wonderful world.

Wishing everyone a few good surprises for your Christmas as well!