Blowing Up The Boob

Ah, the boob saga sagged a bit, but it continues on once again. With Dr. V safely back and refreshed from holidays abroad, we set to the task of trying to refill the breast again with more saline. Since its collapse shortly after the last fill, it was assumed a hole had been accidentally poked in the bag that holds the saline.

When I called the surgeon's office, the receptionist replied, "I'm afraid it's more common than you think." But this stage is simply all about stretching skin. We're trying to slowly blow up the breast big enough to replace the saline bag with a permanent one- a thicker, tougher, unsinkable (my new personal life preserver!) silicone boob. I bet I will be able to bounce off of it, it sounds so impermeable.
But I digress, talking about what I can, might and will do with my new right breast once we get all this behind us.
On Wednesday this week I am before the surgeon who will decide between more surgery to replace what is in there and starting over again, or to keep topping me up if it's only a slow puncture ("Maybe it's hissing in there but we can't hear it, like a slow tire leak?" I said to Dr. V) Time will tell in the morning how deflated I get (morally and physically) Maybe I'd best sleep on my back?

Stay tuned for the next  saga of "the bouncing breast..."

Bad News About the Re-Con Boob

...and just like a balloon, except it didn't fly around the room, my beautifully rounded saline filled boob went flat overnight.

For those not keeping up, I am a breast cancer survivor in the process of breast reconstruction. An expander with a fillable bag was inserted into my right breast through surgery and now it is to be gradually filled week-by-week until it matches the healthy breast's dimensions. Then this is removed and a solid silicone implant replaces it and I will be finished with the surgeries.

I was in for the third re-fill last week. It was a struggle to find the metal port the needle was to be inserted into on the aerola so that Dr. V could push more saline into the soft gelled bag recently sewn into my breast. As we were slowly having to expand the breast tissue, adding another 50 cc's every three weeks, I had been watching my breast swell larger and larger as the wrinkled lines in my skin and bra disappeared. I was loving the results!

But a mishap during insertion missed the portal and the needle plunged through the bag. "It's quite common, I'm afraid," the receptionist told me.
"We'll get your usual doctor to try again with 100 ccs of saline (when she returns from holidays) and if that doesn't hold, you'll have to be booked for another surgery to replace the expander and bag. I am so sorry..."
She's sorry? I'm sorry about how sorry my doctor is going to feel That's the worst of it.Really. To me it's more time, more healing, more learning the role of patience to get the things we want in life. Like becoming an author, a mother, a mother-in-law and one day a grandmother. It's all worth the wait, as this will be I imagine.

I am wearing a thumb splint as we speak on my left hand as I managed to give myself tendonitis by over-compensating for the post-surgical right arm's soreness. And I get to go through that again. More surgery, another four weeks to repair, another ten weeks of filling before a third surgery to remove the hardware and replace it with a permanent bag filled with silicone.

And like the balloon and my boob...I have to admit for a few minutes I was deflated once again.

SO... realizing the symptoms, I gathered myself and went shopping. First to the Farmers market for fresh kale and beet tops, to the A&W for a twister soft ice cream, to Field's to buy a relaxing pair of exercise pants before a long walk to clear my head.

It's working, although I'm determined not to look down or in a mirror again for quite some time.

In the meantime, I'll have to wait another month or so to continue with the breast recon saga.
Maybe I will start blogging about another part of my body.
 How about the burn on my butt from too much skin and not enough bathing suit material?

Part Three of Breast Recon- Third Fill

Picture a rubber balloon that is inflated. It's nice and firm from all sides. Round and bulbous. Now picture 1/2 of that balloon all shrivelled and deflated while the other half remains full and hard. That's the before and after of  a partial mastectomy surgery to remove a 9mm tumour.

As explained in  parts one and two, I had been through surgery to implant a breast tissue expander that would stretch the skin slowly over various "fills" so that eventually a permanent implant could replace it and my breast will look closer to what it had before this nightmare.

With the expander in place, the instant Dr. V inserted the needle into the portal (and we heard the faint "click" when that happened) my breast began to fill out the rubbery, wrinkled skin to a nice taut balloon surface again.

Size-wise, this blue plastic contraption sits in the palm of your hand. At the far right you see the magnetic "head" that slants straight up when the metallic portal in the expander implant is directly below. Dr. V marks the spot before inserting the syringe full of saline.

There was a slight problem finding the exact portal hole this time. It required a second freezing deeper into the area and a slight joke about putting me out for the two minutes this would take to empty the syringe into my breast, but the moment passed. The right spot was found, my toes uncurled and I held the gauze to my areola until Dr. V covered it with a band-aid.
As I pulled up the sundress I had arrived in, I noticed how my breast filled the sewn-in cup much better than it had ten minutes ago. The nipple that faced my armpit had begun to swing straighter, facing NE instead of due north. The wrinkles were gone! One more fill, another 40 cc's and then we waited for it to "settle" before removing it with another surgery.

I will have to get myself measured before that happens to see if I need any more saline or if that is enough. The skin has to stretch far enough to contain and close in the new implant, a real one that will stay firm and round for as long as I live. What a sweet deal! I'm telling you, I am so wonderfully happy with the entire process I could cry.

I came out of this experience on the plus side, I would say. It only cost me a few years of my life, but hey- the girls will be looking better than ever before.
Now if they could do something about the wrinkley balloon issues elsewhere on this 50 year-old chassis!

Patience Please

Today I had my third fill of the right breast. It was a bit of an ordeal, so I'll have to take time to fill you in. BUT, I am up to my armpits in the final edits of the mystery Not Just One, coming out in September. If, that is, I get this edit done and get it to the typesetter before she quits waiting on me and takes another job. Stressful and we know that's bad for us...so I promise to get the next blog up on the boob as soon as I'm able. I have more pictures.
It's all good though. It's getting bigger ...and bigger....and...

Part Two of Breast Recon- Second Fill

 Tuesday morning rolled around full of dark, threatening clouds and cool moisture in the air. I layered my clothing choice, knowing in the back of my mind I was slightly nervous about the next step in the breast reconstruction. That usually spelled multiple hot flashes, urges to urinate at the worst time and a craving for chocolate. Simultaneously.
Silly because I end up dressed in a hospital gown and left on a guernsey in the clinic's procedure room until Dr. V appears. Her small hands are encased in surgical gloves and a smile has settled upon her face. She has been down this road before and although my confidence is lacking, her's more than compensates.
A bottle of saline is opened and a syringe bigger than an entire bonus-size tube of toothpaste appears. Saline is poured into a smaller cup and the syringe held over top to suck up fifty cc's of it.


Below is a picture of the expander that was implanted into my breast four weeks prior in the Prince George hospital by the plastic surgeon. A metal portal sits on top of a bag previously filled with 60 cc's of saline to get me started. Dr. V must use a special magnified tool she rubs across the breast searching for the exact pinpoint where the needled syringe can be inserted to fill the implant a bit more. I will be a total of 200 cc's spread across twelve weeks with four sessions, enough to replace the half cup of breast removed through the partial mastectomies endured during the breast cancer removal.

When the small arm on the blue plastic finder stands straight up, Dr. V knows she has found the exact spot and marks the place on my skin with a felt pen. She then thankfully freezes the breast area, having to go in sideways to the flesh so not to pierce the implant bag. Wouldn't want any internal leaks even though for now it's only saline solution being injected. Eventually this filled bag and expander will be removed in another surgery and replaced with a permanent silicone bag of equal size. It is done in stages like this as the breast tissue has undergone multiple rounds of intense radiation to kill any lingering cancer cells. This causes the skin to lose it's pliability- the ability to stretch as it once did. Or as I tell everyone,I've been microwaved and like a piece of chicken the skin has become dense. One tough boobie- don't you know it! To be cont'd.

Steady On The Boob ...

It has taken close to four weeks for the swelling in my breast to calm down enough to begin the next stage of breast reconstruction.
"Why are you so amazed?" my friends ask.
My previous two breast surgeries to remove the tumour and then more tissue and lymph nodes seemed to heal faster, or is that simply an ADD timeless mind at work. Why do we bother to wear a watch? Time means nothing- I can't tell the difference between a week and a month. And never ask me what day it is on the spot.
But not being able to jump and run feels super long, long enough to find me a bit breathless on a twenty minute sojourn this morning. With three sports bras of varying tightness cinching my breasts to my chest, I put on the most-hip-shaking music I own on my Ipod and wiggled and bounced my way up the driveway, shaking fists at the blue sky in triumph, raising my knees to my mid-section with the beat as the sweat trickled.
Isn't being alive the best? Especially when you put yourself to the test once in awhile. Make your body perform, push it a little, see how it responds. Mine loved it, like a captured horse suddenly freed of the pen. A writer freed from the keyboard. Shake it..shake it..ooh...shake it....shake it.
Tomorrow is my favourite exercise- senior's aquafit. What a great all-body strengthening class. With Sunny Sue and her inspirational tunes lifting us up, it's a marvy way to start one's day. Mon, Wed and Friday at the Houston Leisure facility, 9-9:45.
Tuesday is running with Sandi, now that I'm back to moving faster than walking.
Then Sandi and I meet again at her clinic for the first breast expander filling.
I'll try harder to get pictures!
Stay tuned!

Breast Reconstruction Goes Ahead

"It's fine the way it is," my husband tells me.
"You look in the mirror at it then," I reply, making a face at the disfigured breast and the new way my nipple wanders off in the wrong direction. I pull my housecoat on.
 Between the partial mastectomy and a follow-up surgery to get more margin around the tumour in my right breast it looked like a grapefruit whose bottom had gone rotten. It wrinkled and sagged although the top remained full.
Chances were good that what was left would collapse. It happened to a fellow friend and survivor. We compared notes and the work of our surgeon . Why would hers collapse and not mine?
Answer? Just wait. The bulbous post surgical swelling finally dissipated and I was left with a breast disfigured in a new way. I had almost adjusted to the mis-aligned "headlight"  now facing more toward my armpit than straight. The cause of this? A lymph node "mining" incision under my arm pit. Seven nodes later, a second armpit or hollow was formed beneath my arm. A little difficult to shave as it narrows greatly at the bottom. But I digress!

Once it collapsed. the right breast now resembled a grapefruit with the far right side curled into itself much like a deflated balloon.  Dr. V, my boob doc put in the recommendation to see our closest plastic surgeon, a Dr. K in Prince George. I had seen Dr. K on occasion for a face issue and while there for that, mentioned I was now on her surgical consult waiting list. I was bold, taking my advice about being your own best advocate, and asked if she would take a quick look to see if I would be a breast implant candidate or not to bother with her time.

I scored big that day as the doctor had a spare minute for me to put an examination gown on. The verdict: the loose skin from the collapse seemed supple enough, even after 16 rounds of radiation to place a bag of silicone in to pump it back up to better match my left side. It could be done quickly and the doctor hoped  sooner than later with such a minor infraction.

Or so I understood. We all know who she was dealing with, right?

Personally, I think my deceased mother was once again working her magic. If I managed to jump the quay, it was for a higher purpose. So that I could write about my experience to help the next woman in line. Whether merely to quell her anxiety or to point out options, it was all help in the right direction.

Surgery day arrived. I met Dr. K in the day-surgery area where I was gowned and ready. She pulled the curtains around the bed I waited in and had me remove the draping for close-up pictures of my right breast. The before shot, I figured.

For the first time ever, I walked into the surgical theater and hopped onto the table. Seconds later I was out cold.
Thinking I was waking up to a mere silicone implant, I was surprised to hear there hadn't been enough flexible tissue as Dr. K had hoped for. An expander had been inserted into my breast. An expander is mostly an empty bag with a metal portal on top. After inserted and sewn in, the doctor takes a syringe and finding the metal portal on the top of the inserted bag using a magnetic device, inserts the needle into the bag, pumping 60 cc's of saline into it.

Once home, I had to leave the bandaging on for a week. Once uncovered I noticed the great job the doc had done following the previous scars. It took another four weeks for the incision to heal enough to see my regular Dr. V again for the second "fill."

Once I have had a total of 200 ccs of saline put in over a course of two months, Dr. K will then perform another surgery to remove the saline filled bag and expander for a permanent silicone bag of equal size.

The next blog will be on the stages that followed this priocedure. With any hopes I will get a copy of the before and after X Rated boob shots.

Stay tuned!